Designing After Divorce: Making it Your Own
According to the American Psychological Association, 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. For those who have subscribed to my email newsletters, you already know a bit about my life and my own divorce. I couldn’t afford to buy out my ex-husband and stay in our home, so after splitting our stuff down the middle, I moved out.
Leaving was one of the bravest and most terrifying things I’ve ever done in my life. I had recently started a new career after being at home with my children for 8 years, and I didn’t have much guaranteed long-term financial stability at the time. However, my rediscovered passion both in life and love catapulted me forward with this otherworldly resolute determination and hope.
The day I moved out, as the movers were about to leave me and countless boxes in my new townhouse, they must have sensed the overwhelm and the heaviness I felt. One of the guys, who I’m certain was high as a kite but incredibly wise, told me: “Don’t worry; this is hard, but things will get better.” I’m cackling through tears right now remembering this exchange. He was right.
To fellow women moving out or kicking their partners out, I have some tips that might help you:
As you’re dividing your assets, make sure to take all family heirlooms with you.
Divvy up items based on their worth if they sold on Facebook Marketplace.
Get rid of any items that remind you of your ex/bad times.
Buy plants to place near the entryways to symbolize newly established boundaries.
Sage the place!
Try to live alone if you can (this does not include children- always take them with you! And get them as much as you can).
Dedicate an area in your home to yourself, your hobbies, your ancestry, your interests.
Be fearless in your design.
You know what it’s like to feel empty. Here’s your opportunity to reclaim your identity, your space, and yourself.